I finally feel "normal" again this morning even after a really bad night. I couldn't get comfortable, and I had the worst dreams ever. I don't know if it's the stress of not knowing what's going to happen or how this will all turn out, but I woke up crying and feeling like I was in a sauna.
Today will be better, though. Little pain... and the bloating seems to have calmed down. I'll keep my appointment with my RE this afternoon to make sure everything really is "Ok". In the meantime, my embies should be hatching and finding a spot to call "home" for the next 9 months.
A burrito sounds glorious. ;)
1dp3dt... or PUPO!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
I'm officially in the dreaded TWW, but omg... I'm officially pregnant until proven otherwise. Wanna see my embies? Because I have three inside of me as I type...
.JPG)
First, I have to say that I did one of the most bonehead things EVER before going to the appointment. I knew that I had to drink 24 oz of water before I arrived, but after taking 2 valium (because I felt that 1 wouldn't be enough), I had a difficult time making good decisions. So, I drank two 16 ounce bottles of water instead. *sigh*
I told the nurse that I had to relieve myself before I exploded, she told me to go ahead and count to 1 mississippi, 2 mississippi, 3 mississippi... then hold. So I did that. No problem! Then I felt like I had to compensate for the missing pee by drinking three more bottles of water.
Ok?
Screw Mississippi. I had to piss soooo bad that the doctor had to stop the entire transfer to let me go 3 Mississippi before I exploded. I couldn't even walk... I was in SOOO much pain. I counted to maybe 4 or 5 and prayed that I would make it the rest of the procedure.
Ok, so if you've been through a ton of ultrasounds, you kind of know what's what. I remember looking at the screen and noticing that my bladder looked like a huge hot air balloon on it's side, so every time the dr tried to insert the speculum, I wanted to scream.
Unfortunately, the entire transfer experience was excruciating because I wanted to over compensate for not having exactly 24 ounces of water in my bladder. So I suggest those of you going in to your transfer, make sure you don't drink too much water. They can see your uterus JUST FINE without 64 ounces. Like dh said... I had a 40 plus a Tall Boy in my bladder. xD
PUPO
I was told before the transfer (I think, because I was totally LOADED from my one extra valium) that I had 5 embies, and the 3 best embies were grade 2 at 6-8 cells. The other two were going to be checked to see if they would make it to 5 days, and if so, then they would be frozen. I'll find out tomorrow if we will have frosties!
We were given the option to cancel our implant and wait to see if our 3 day embies made it to 5 day blasts, but then we ran the risk of losing all of them. So we decide to proceed with our transfer of 3 day embies. We were warned that we could have twins or triplets! I'm praying at least one of those little guys makes it.
Bed-rest, Movies & Bean Burrito
For the rest of the day, I was still in lots of pain. Not sure if it was from the actual transfer, irritated bladder, pain from the retrieval, or all of the above, but I was just totally uncomfortable. Not to mention BLOATED. I seriously look 5 months pregnant already. I kept pushing on my belly like "What is THIS!?" So naturally I thought the best thing to eat was a bean burrito. God, that valium must have controlled my brain longer than I had thought. That room was seriously flammable.
I stayed in bed and watched Puss in Boots (OoOoOOh!), Kung Foo Panda 2 and Final Destination 5. That helped so much to keep my mind off of things. I didn't fall asleep until 2am and had the weirdest dreams. Like I beat up an old lady for taking my parking space. :0/
1DP3DT
Still feeling some pain, cramping and I'm really uncomfortable. Not to mention that the PIO shots seriously SUCK... And I still look 5 months pregnant. Maybe I should just get used to looking like this.
I hope so... :)
.JPG)
First, I have to say that I did one of the most bonehead things EVER before going to the appointment. I knew that I had to drink 24 oz of water before I arrived, but after taking 2 valium (because I felt that 1 wouldn't be enough), I had a difficult time making good decisions. So, I drank two 16 ounce bottles of water instead. *sigh*
I told the nurse that I had to relieve myself before I exploded, she told me to go ahead and count to 1 mississippi, 2 mississippi, 3 mississippi... then hold. So I did that. No problem! Then I felt like I had to compensate for the missing pee by drinking three more bottles of water.
Ok?
Screw Mississippi. I had to piss soooo bad that the doctor had to stop the entire transfer to let me go 3 Mississippi before I exploded. I couldn't even walk... I was in SOOO much pain. I counted to maybe 4 or 5 and prayed that I would make it the rest of the procedure.
Ok, so if you've been through a ton of ultrasounds, you kind of know what's what. I remember looking at the screen and noticing that my bladder looked like a huge hot air balloon on it's side, so every time the dr tried to insert the speculum, I wanted to scream.
Unfortunately, the entire transfer experience was excruciating because I wanted to over compensate for not having exactly 24 ounces of water in my bladder. So I suggest those of you going in to your transfer, make sure you don't drink too much water. They can see your uterus JUST FINE without 64 ounces. Like dh said... I had a 40 plus a Tall Boy in my bladder. xD
PUPO
I was told before the transfer (I think, because I was totally LOADED from my one extra valium) that I had 5 embies, and the 3 best embies were grade 2 at 6-8 cells. The other two were going to be checked to see if they would make it to 5 days, and if so, then they would be frozen. I'll find out tomorrow if we will have frosties!
We were given the option to cancel our implant and wait to see if our 3 day embies made it to 5 day blasts, but then we ran the risk of losing all of them. So we decide to proceed with our transfer of 3 day embies. We were warned that we could have twins or triplets! I'm praying at least one of those little guys makes it.
Bed-rest, Movies & Bean Burrito
For the rest of the day, I was still in lots of pain. Not sure if it was from the actual transfer, irritated bladder, pain from the retrieval, or all of the above, but I was just totally uncomfortable. Not to mention BLOATED. I seriously look 5 months pregnant already. I kept pushing on my belly like "What is THIS!?" So naturally I thought the best thing to eat was a bean burrito. God, that valium must have controlled my brain longer than I had thought. That room was seriously flammable.
I stayed in bed and watched Puss in Boots (OoOoOOh!), Kung Foo Panda 2 and Final Destination 5. That helped so much to keep my mind off of things. I didn't fall asleep until 2am and had the weirdest dreams. Like I beat up an old lady for taking my parking space. :0/
1DP3DT
Still feeling some pain, cramping and I'm really uncomfortable. Not to mention that the PIO shots seriously SUCK... And I still look 5 months pregnant. Maybe I should just get used to looking like this.
I hope so... :)
Eggs in a basket
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012 was my egg retrieval day. I was so nervous, and I had no idea what to expect even though I had spent the entire night before retrieval reading everything there was to know about ER. I even watched youtube videos and vlogs of women who've been there and done that, so I wanted to be completely prepared.
Guess what? I wasn't.
Ok, someone out there (me?) needs to point out how much of a walk-in-the-park this experience HASN'T been. I was comforted watching other people say "Oh wow, it didn't hurt at all..." and "Yeah, it feels a little bit like menstrual cramps."
I have a BS card, and I'm waving it in faces because my experience was COMPLETELY different.
Wait...
I was taken back into the prep room where the nurse attempted to hook me up to the IV. She completely blew my vein on my left hand even after I told her that my veins on the right side were way better. So she apologized and finally got it in. I was then given some antibiotic and DH and I waited.. and waited.. and omg we waited. Anesthesiologist showed up and checked my neck, had me open my mouth and say ahhhhh and said he would see me in surgery.
Then we waited some more. I think the waiting was more agonizing than anything. I just wanted to hurry up and get it over with. I was exhausted and terrified.
My RE finally swooshed into the room and greeted me and then tried to go into the whole "now let's be negative about this whole procedure..." but I stopped him dead in his tracks and told him "I have faith in you..." He smiled and nodded, and swooshed back out.
Facebooking during Surgery?
It was time to walk back into the procedure room where I hopped up onto a table with the most comfy leg stirrups ever. The anesthesiologist popped up behind me like a stealthy ninja... and he was preparing to knock my effing lights out. With my mask on, I asked the room "any last words of good luck??" and the anesthesiologist said "uhhh.. break a leg?" The nurse said "Pretend you're on the beach..." :0/ Then I was out.
For some reason, I felt awake the entire time, even though I wasn't. And for some even STRANGER reason, I thought I was updating my Facebook status during surgery. When I woke up, I asked everyone "Was I awake the whole time?" They all laughed and said "No." and then I was spouting off how much I loved them and how I wanted to get them all fruit baskets from Edible Arrangements for a job well done. I didn't even know how many eggs were retrieved, but they finally got me to shut up and said "we have 5 eggs."
REALLY!? FIVE!? That was five more than what we originally thought I'd have. And they were all mature. Again... bite me RE.
Sock me in the guts 3 more times...
I was in la la land for a few minutes until the medication began wearing off. I'm gonna curse right now... but holy shit. Omg... pain.
Freaking hurt. And I'm not talking about "uncomfortable" or "period-like cramps"... I'm talking about "I remember when I had a c-section" type of pain. Apparently, my left ovary was hiding, so my RE had to dig around for it. I think he even put some SCUBA gear on and went in after it. I felt like I was shot in the stomach with a really small gun (because a big gun would have killed me), and all I wanted the nurse to do was give me drugs to help with the pain.
She did... but it wasn't enough.
Poor DH. I've not talked about him just yet, have I? Well, the man was a saint. He took really good care of me when I was crying on the floor because I was in so much pain that laying down was just out of the question. He held my hair back when I started barfing up all of the anesthesia (while still crying on the floor), and he rubbed my bloated belly until I finally drifted off to sleep. He was amazing.
I slept the entire day. It wasn't until 9pm, (9 hours after the procedure) when I could finally get up and walk around. I nibbled on some food, but I was still incredibly sore and in a ton of pain. Then it was time for DH to give me a shot using "the world's biggest freaking needle ever..." in my butt... with progesterone oil. At that point, I figured there couldn't be anything worse than what I went through that afternoon... so I just assumed the position and let him find a juicy spot to stick me. He was freaking out more than anything... I just wanted him to get it over with. It took 3 tries before he finally got it right. Either I wasn't paying attention or I was still in way too much pain from ER, but I didn't feel it. Not even with the huge Donkey Kong needle. Sweeeeeet.
24 HOUR REPORT!
Saturday, February 25, 2012... All of my eggs fertilized. 4 of them were perfect, and the other one was a lazy ass. I just prayed that at least 3 would make it to my day 3 transfer... and so far, so good. The embryologist was way more positive than my RE had ever been, and she was telling me that this was all really good news... and I believed her.
48 HOUR REPORT!!
Guess what... we still have all five embies. 4 at a grade 2 (which is like a B) and the lazy ass at grade 3. But we still have them all. *shocked face*... Tomorrow we transfer three of the grade 2 and pray that at least one sticks. I just need one. Please Lord, let me have just one...
How do I feel today? I'm still VERY sore. Not as bad as yesterday, but still bad enough to where I don't want to eat just in case I have to poop. (TMI!!). I'm waaaay gassy still, and my left side feels worse than my right. But I'm so just excited to make it to transfer tomorrow. I go in at 12:45 but I have to be there by 12:30. I get to take my Valuim (yesssss!) by 12:15 and I have to drink enough water to make the person next to me have to pee.
I'm so excited. I just want my babies back in side of me. I've beat the odds and I can't wait to see my RE tomorrow so I could just give him that *look*... you know which one I'm talking about? The "now what, punk!?" look.
Then it's the dreaded TWW... but I'm feeling so positive. More news tomorrow. :) Hopefully, it's all golden.
Guess what? I wasn't.
Ok, someone out there (me?) needs to point out how much of a walk-in-the-park this experience HASN'T been. I was comforted watching other people say "Oh wow, it didn't hurt at all..." and "Yeah, it feels a little bit like menstrual cramps."
I have a BS card, and I'm waving it in faces because my experience was COMPLETELY different.
Wait...
I was taken back into the prep room where the nurse attempted to hook me up to the IV. She completely blew my vein on my left hand even after I told her that my veins on the right side were way better. So she apologized and finally got it in. I was then given some antibiotic and DH and I waited.. and waited.. and omg we waited. Anesthesiologist showed up and checked my neck, had me open my mouth and say ahhhhh and said he would see me in surgery.
Then we waited some more. I think the waiting was more agonizing than anything. I just wanted to hurry up and get it over with. I was exhausted and terrified.
My RE finally swooshed into the room and greeted me and then tried to go into the whole "now let's be negative about this whole procedure..." but I stopped him dead in his tracks and told him "I have faith in you..." He smiled and nodded, and swooshed back out.
Facebooking during Surgery?
It was time to walk back into the procedure room where I hopped up onto a table with the most comfy leg stirrups ever. The anesthesiologist popped up behind me like a stealthy ninja... and he was preparing to knock my effing lights out. With my mask on, I asked the room "any last words of good luck??" and the anesthesiologist said "uhhh.. break a leg?" The nurse said "Pretend you're on the beach..." :0/ Then I was out.
For some reason, I felt awake the entire time, even though I wasn't. And for some even STRANGER reason, I thought I was updating my Facebook status during surgery. When I woke up, I asked everyone "Was I awake the whole time?" They all laughed and said "No." and then I was spouting off how much I loved them and how I wanted to get them all fruit baskets from Edible Arrangements for a job well done. I didn't even know how many eggs were retrieved, but they finally got me to shut up and said "we have 5 eggs."
REALLY!? FIVE!? That was five more than what we originally thought I'd have. And they were all mature. Again... bite me RE.
Sock me in the guts 3 more times...
I was in la la land for a few minutes until the medication began wearing off. I'm gonna curse right now... but holy shit. Omg... pain.
Freaking hurt. And I'm not talking about "uncomfortable" or "period-like cramps"... I'm talking about "I remember when I had a c-section" type of pain. Apparently, my left ovary was hiding, so my RE had to dig around for it. I think he even put some SCUBA gear on and went in after it. I felt like I was shot in the stomach with a really small gun (because a big gun would have killed me), and all I wanted the nurse to do was give me drugs to help with the pain.
She did... but it wasn't enough.
Poor DH. I've not talked about him just yet, have I? Well, the man was a saint. He took really good care of me when I was crying on the floor because I was in so much pain that laying down was just out of the question. He held my hair back when I started barfing up all of the anesthesia (while still crying on the floor), and he rubbed my bloated belly until I finally drifted off to sleep. He was amazing.
I slept the entire day. It wasn't until 9pm, (9 hours after the procedure) when I could finally get up and walk around. I nibbled on some food, but I was still incredibly sore and in a ton of pain. Then it was time for DH to give me a shot using "the world's biggest freaking needle ever..." in my butt... with progesterone oil. At that point, I figured there couldn't be anything worse than what I went through that afternoon... so I just assumed the position and let him find a juicy spot to stick me. He was freaking out more than anything... I just wanted him to get it over with. It took 3 tries before he finally got it right. Either I wasn't paying attention or I was still in way too much pain from ER, but I didn't feel it. Not even with the huge Donkey Kong needle. Sweeeeeet.
24 HOUR REPORT!
Saturday, February 25, 2012... All of my eggs fertilized. 4 of them were perfect, and the other one was a lazy ass. I just prayed that at least 3 would make it to my day 3 transfer... and so far, so good. The embryologist was way more positive than my RE had ever been, and she was telling me that this was all really good news... and I believed her.
48 HOUR REPORT!!
Guess what... we still have all five embies. 4 at a grade 2 (which is like a B) and the lazy ass at grade 3. But we still have them all. *shocked face*... Tomorrow we transfer three of the grade 2 and pray that at least one sticks. I just need one. Please Lord, let me have just one...
How do I feel today? I'm still VERY sore. Not as bad as yesterday, but still bad enough to where I don't want to eat just in case I have to poop. (TMI!!). I'm waaaay gassy still, and my left side feels worse than my right. But I'm so just excited to make it to transfer tomorrow. I go in at 12:45 but I have to be there by 12:30. I get to take my Valuim (yesssss!) by 12:15 and I have to drink enough water to make the person next to me have to pee.
I'm so excited. I just want my babies back in side of me. I've beat the odds and I can't wait to see my RE tomorrow so I could just give him that *look*... you know which one I'm talking about? The "now what, punk!?" look.
Then it's the dreaded TWW... but I'm feeling so positive. More news tomorrow. :) Hopefully, it's all golden.
I am infertile
This is my very first post. I wasn't even sure if I had wanted to share this blog with anyone because dealing with infertility has been such a painful journey for these past 2 years. The word "infertile" to me translates to "failure"... who wants to be a part of THAT club? I don't. But unfortunately, I've been an unwilling member and participant since April of 2010.
So if you end up here on my blog, welcome. I'm so sorry that you have to be here, too. There's such a huge community for those of us who are trying desperately to bring home our little one, and if there's anything that I can do or say to help just one person get through this journey, then great. :)
My name is Luna, and I'm infertile.
Let's start off with the fact that I do have children. It's been almost 13 years since I've had my youngest, and I'm ready to welcome our last. I thought it was going to be a breeze since getting pregnant has never been an issue for me before. I had a little hurdle to jump over this last time because my tubes were tied. But after we agreed to have "just one more"... all I had to do was have a tubal reversal and then the babies would start coming, right? Oh my god, so wrong.
My tubal reversal was performed by Dr. Monteith of Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center in April of 2010. He did an amazing job, and I had the best experience there. After my tubes were repaired and both were shown to be open and healthy, our race to make a baby began.
It took a few months (almost a year to be exact) before I actually did become pregnant on my own. Unfortunately, like with many tubal reversal pregnancies, it ended up being an ectopic. Strike one. But the fact that I could get pregnant on my own was what helped me to make it through that horrendous experience, and I was ready to try again within the next 3 months.
I did become pregnant again 3 months later, but that one was a chemical pregnancy, and I felt completely defeated.
I've tried doing the Clomid thing, but I wasn't making enough eggs, and after three cycles of being told that my E2 levels were too low, and the chances of becoming pregnant on my own were slim to none, I decided that it was time to pull out the big guns and move on to a more aggressive approach... IVF.
IVF attempt #1
See, my problem is that I'm considered to be "old" even though I feel like I'm 18. My eggs are matching my age, and so I was diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian Reserve (sucks!!!) and something about AMH being equally sucky. HOW BAD DO MY EGGS SUCK? Sooo bad that I completely failed the first IVF attempt because I didn't respond at all to the Microdose Lupron Flare protocol. Both of my RE's just threw their hands up in the air and called it quits on my 8th day of stims and told me to call them when AF arrived.
That was in November of 2011. I was so crushed. All of that hard work and sticking myself in the stomach was for nothing. My RE's didn't even think I should even go for another IVF attempt, so when AF did arrive, they tried for IUI. I actually responded much better that time with 3 juicy eggs. I don't know why it didn't work, but I knew in my heart that I wanted to try IVF one more time once AF showed up.
IVF attempt #2
My RE told me "Ok, we'll give it one last shot!" after I begged and pleaded to give IVF another go. He started me on a new protocol on CD 1-3 which consisted of progesterone suppositories (instead of birth control) to keep my period from showing up. Well, that lasted for about 3 days, and my period eventually arrived in full force... so my RE told me to double up on BCP for one day, and then take one BCP for the next two days (CD's 2-3)... then on CD 6, I was to start Lupron at 20iu.
Murder scene
My CD3 ultrasound had to be one of the most disgusting YUCK examinations of my entire life. I was bleeding so heavily that every time my RE moved the wand inside of me, I could feel the blood pour out of me like a faucet. I'm so sorry if that's TMI, but holy crap, I was humiliated and embarrassed and just wanted to hide in a corner. My RE and his assistant assured me that there wasn't anything that they haven't seen and to not worry about it... but when the assistant made a "Oh!" noise and grabbed a super duper wipey and bent down to wipe my blood OFF OF HIS SHOE... I died. Ohhhhh my god... seriously. Did that really happen?! Yes. When the examination was over, I hopped off of the table and it literally looked like a murder scene. I grabbed as many super duper wipes and went to work PRAYING that nobody would knock or come in to check on me. I just wanted to clean.
Ok, enough about that story. Moving right along...
Lupron20 I mean 10iu
I have a confession to make. Once I started to stim 3 days after beginning my Lupron injections, I took my dosage of Lupron down to 10iu twice a day instead of 20. I think Lupron suppressed me way too much the first time around, so I made my own adjustment ... I would NEVER recommend anyone to do that. Maybe I was being stupid, but it worked. I've read how Lupron can over stimulate people with my condition, and I didn't want to replay IVF failure #1 by having absolutely no lining or follicles to work with. So my stim schedule/dosage looked like this:
Monday, February 13, 2012 - Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Morning:
150iu Gonal - F
75iu Menopur
10iu Lupron
Night:
225iu Gonal - F
75iu Menopur
10iu Lupron
Baby Aspirin, Zithromax, Dexamethasone, prenatal vitamins
I was SCARED stupid when I went in for my first follicle check after stimming thinking "Omg he's gonna know what I've done, and I'm going to get in trouble!" but luckily, on stim day 5, my ultrasound showed a perfect uterine lining at 7 and 4-5 good sized follicles on the right ovary, and 2-3 follicles on my left. *high five!
"On the Fence"
By day10 of stims, my RE stated that he was still on the fence about my making it to retrieval. I was thinking in my head "Seriously, asshole? I'm paying YOU to retrieve my eggs. I have at least 4... go in and get them." I hated that he was so negative about the whole thing. I thought I was doing FABULOUSLY and was so excited when he kept clicking on the follicles to measure them on the ultrasound. One, two, three... four... FIVE on the right. One, two THREE on the left. That's three more than what we started out with! I was NOT going to let him give up on me. He stated over and over again that he doubts I had any mature follicles at that point. I knew in my heart that he was wrong. My lining was over 13 and I had a ton of EWCM... my body was ready to have some eggs fertilized. I WILL MAKE IT TO ER ON FRIDAY!!
Get the hell off the fence
After my blood work came back and showed that I was, in fact, carrying some mature follicles, I was instructed to give myself one more shot (minus the Lupron) and trigger at midnight. (screams!!!) I made it. I knew I would.
I thought I was going to feel a ton of O pains right after trigger, because in the past, once I triggered, I could literally feel the egg pop and (exaggeration in 3, 2, 1) travel down my tubes and completely miss my uterus all together. But this time, I didn't... until 3pm. Yup... there it is. Thursday, February 23, 2012. I was ready for retrieval the following morning. I'll talk about that in my next post because this one is turning more into a chapter of the bible, and if you've read this far... you're a champ. ;)
So if you end up here on my blog, welcome. I'm so sorry that you have to be here, too. There's such a huge community for those of us who are trying desperately to bring home our little one, and if there's anything that I can do or say to help just one person get through this journey, then great. :)
My name is Luna, and I'm infertile.
Let's start off with the fact that I do have children. It's been almost 13 years since I've had my youngest, and I'm ready to welcome our last. I thought it was going to be a breeze since getting pregnant has never been an issue for me before. I had a little hurdle to jump over this last time because my tubes were tied. But after we agreed to have "just one more"... all I had to do was have a tubal reversal and then the babies would start coming, right? Oh my god, so wrong.
My tubal reversal was performed by Dr. Monteith of Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center in April of 2010. He did an amazing job, and I had the best experience there. After my tubes were repaired and both were shown to be open and healthy, our race to make a baby began.
It took a few months (almost a year to be exact) before I actually did become pregnant on my own. Unfortunately, like with many tubal reversal pregnancies, it ended up being an ectopic. Strike one. But the fact that I could get pregnant on my own was what helped me to make it through that horrendous experience, and I was ready to try again within the next 3 months.
I did become pregnant again 3 months later, but that one was a chemical pregnancy, and I felt completely defeated.
I've tried doing the Clomid thing, but I wasn't making enough eggs, and after three cycles of being told that my E2 levels were too low, and the chances of becoming pregnant on my own were slim to none, I decided that it was time to pull out the big guns and move on to a more aggressive approach... IVF.
IVF attempt #1
See, my problem is that I'm considered to be "old" even though I feel like I'm 18. My eggs are matching my age, and so I was diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian Reserve (sucks!!!) and something about AMH being equally sucky. HOW BAD DO MY EGGS SUCK? Sooo bad that I completely failed the first IVF attempt because I didn't respond at all to the Microdose Lupron Flare protocol. Both of my RE's just threw their hands up in the air and called it quits on my 8th day of stims and told me to call them when AF arrived.
That was in November of 2011. I was so crushed. All of that hard work and sticking myself in the stomach was for nothing. My RE's didn't even think I should even go for another IVF attempt, so when AF did arrive, they tried for IUI. I actually responded much better that time with 3 juicy eggs. I don't know why it didn't work, but I knew in my heart that I wanted to try IVF one more time once AF showed up.
IVF attempt #2
My RE told me "Ok, we'll give it one last shot!" after I begged and pleaded to give IVF another go. He started me on a new protocol on CD 1-3 which consisted of progesterone suppositories (instead of birth control) to keep my period from showing up. Well, that lasted for about 3 days, and my period eventually arrived in full force... so my RE told me to double up on BCP for one day, and then take one BCP for the next two days (CD's 2-3)... then on CD 6, I was to start Lupron at 20iu.
Murder scene
My CD3 ultrasound had to be one of the most disgusting YUCK examinations of my entire life. I was bleeding so heavily that every time my RE moved the wand inside of me, I could feel the blood pour out of me like a faucet. I'm so sorry if that's TMI, but holy crap, I was humiliated and embarrassed and just wanted to hide in a corner. My RE and his assistant assured me that there wasn't anything that they haven't seen and to not worry about it... but when the assistant made a "Oh!" noise and grabbed a super duper wipey and bent down to wipe my blood OFF OF HIS SHOE... I died. Ohhhhh my god... seriously. Did that really happen?! Yes. When the examination was over, I hopped off of the table and it literally looked like a murder scene. I grabbed as many super duper wipes and went to work PRAYING that nobody would knock or come in to check on me. I just wanted to clean.
Ok, enough about that story. Moving right along...
Lupron
I have a confession to make. Once I started to stim 3 days after beginning my Lupron injections, I took my dosage of Lupron down to 10iu twice a day instead of 20. I think Lupron suppressed me way too much the first time around, so I made my own adjustment ... I would NEVER recommend anyone to do that. Maybe I was being stupid, but it worked. I've read how Lupron can over stimulate people with my condition, and I didn't want to replay IVF failure #1 by having absolutely no lining or follicles to work with. So my stim schedule/dosage looked like this:
Monday, February 13, 2012 - Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Morning:
150iu Gonal - F
75iu Menopur
10iu Lupron
Night:
225iu Gonal - F
75iu Menopur
10iu Lupron
Baby Aspirin, Zithromax, Dexamethasone, prenatal vitamins
I was SCARED stupid when I went in for my first follicle check after stimming thinking "Omg he's gonna know what I've done, and I'm going to get in trouble!" but luckily, on stim day 5, my ultrasound showed a perfect uterine lining at 7 and 4-5 good sized follicles on the right ovary, and 2-3 follicles on my left. *high five!
"On the Fence"
By day10 of stims, my RE stated that he was still on the fence about my making it to retrieval. I was thinking in my head "Seriously, asshole? I'm paying YOU to retrieve my eggs. I have at least 4... go in and get them." I hated that he was so negative about the whole thing. I thought I was doing FABULOUSLY and was so excited when he kept clicking on the follicles to measure them on the ultrasound. One, two, three... four... FIVE on the right. One, two THREE on the left. That's three more than what we started out with! I was NOT going to let him give up on me. He stated over and over again that he doubts I had any mature follicles at that point. I knew in my heart that he was wrong. My lining was over 13 and I had a ton of EWCM... my body was ready to have some eggs fertilized. I WILL MAKE IT TO ER ON FRIDAY!!
Get the hell off the fence
After my blood work came back and showed that I was, in fact, carrying some mature follicles, I was instructed to give myself one more shot (minus the Lupron) and trigger at midnight. (screams!!!) I made it. I knew I would.
I thought I was going to feel a ton of O pains right after trigger, because in the past, once I triggered, I could literally feel the egg pop and (exaggeration in 3, 2, 1) travel down my tubes and completely miss my uterus all together. But this time, I didn't... until 3pm. Yup... there it is. Thursday, February 23, 2012. I was ready for retrieval the following morning. I'll talk about that in my next post because this one is turning more into a chapter of the bible, and if you've read this far... you're a champ. ;)
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